DeFacto Parentage & LGBTQ Families

DeFacto Parentage & LGBTQ Families

For many LGBTQ families, the path to parenthood does not always follow traditional, legal routes. Whether you are a stepparent, a non-biological parent in a same-sex relationship, or someone who has stepped into a parental role through other circumstances, Connecticut law now offers a way to formalize your relationship with a child you have been raising: de facto parentage.

Under the Connecticut Parentage Act, you can become a legal parent to a child even if you are not biologically related to them and have not formally adopted them. This is a meaningful step forward for LGBTQ families. Nevertheless, it is important to understand what de facto parentage means for your estate planning.

How Do You Become a De Facto Parent?

To establish de facto parentage, you will need to prove all of the following to a court by “clear and convincing evidence”:

• You have lived with the child as part of their household for at least one year (Courts may accept a shorter period if there is a good reason.)
• You have consistently cared for the child and helped make decisions about their upbringing.
• You have taken on full parenting responsibilities without expecting to be paid for it.
• You have held the child out as your own.
• You have developed a bonded, dependent relationship with the child that is parental in nature.
• Your parent-child relationship with the child has been supported and encouraged by an existing legal parent to the child.
• Your continuing relationship with the child is in the child’s best interests.

There are a few important things to keep in mind when determining how to become a de facto parent. Only you (the person seeking to be recognized as a de facto parent) can file this petition, and you must do so while both you and the child are living. The child must also be under 18 when you file.

Once a court recognizes you as a de facto parent, you have the same legal status as a biological or adoptive parent. However, unlike some other paths to legal parentage, de facto parentage requires going through the court system; there is no other way to establish it.

What Does This Mean for Your Estate Plan?

Once you have been recognized as a de facto parent, it is a good idea to review your estate planning documents and update them if needed. This includes your will, any trusts, and beneficiary designations on life insurance policies or retirement accounts.

In some cases, your existing documents may already reflect your wishes, especially if you have already named the child as a beneficiary. If so, additional updates may not be necessary.

What If Your Documents Reference “After-Born or Adopted Children”?

Many wills include language that automatically extends benefits to children born or adopted after the will was created. But because de facto parentage is relatively new under Connecticut law, it is unclear whether this language would apply to a child recognized through de facto parentage. To avoid uncertainty, it is best to update your estate plan after establishing de facto parentage,  whether your goal is to include or exclude the child in the estate.

What If You Have Not Established De Facto Parentage?

Even without a formal legal parent-child relationship, you can still include a child in your estate plan. One of the great things about estate planning is that you get to decide who benefits from your estate. You can name anyone you choose, including a child you’ve helped raise —regardless of whether you’re their legal parent.

Questions?

If you’d like to learn more about de facto parentage or how it might affect your estate plan, reach out to one of our Family Law or Trusts & Estates attorneys at Pullman & Comley, LLC at pullcom.com. 

By Danielle A. Erickson,  an attorney in Pullman & Comley’s Trusts and Estates practice, and Stacie L. Provencher, an attorney in the firm’s Family Law practice.