Poll Dancing: Just How LGBTQ+ Friendly is Connecticut?

Poll Dancing: Just How LGBTQ+ Friendly is Connecticut?

By Randy B. Young

A “telltale” is a fact or admission that discloses an underlying truth, as in Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Telltale Heart.”

On a sailboat, however, “telltales” are visual indicators of how the wind is filling the sails. Usually made of ribbon, they are attached to sails to gauge the wind at different heights, aiding with a directional heading. Often, however, they give conflicting information, yielding one reading at the top of a sail and a different interpretation at the bottom.

There are tons of polls assessing views on the LGBTQ+ community: where is the best city to live, where’s the best Pride event, the best drag bar, the best place housing market, the friendliest place to vacation…or even the top Pride events at drag bars on your vacation.”

June 2025 marked 10 years since the US Supreme Court effectively legalized same-sex marriage, but polls remain a skewed depiction of life for LGBTQ+ individuals—a group that remains proudly resistant to simplistic categorization.

The telltales related to Connecticut life for LGBTQ+ citizens are inconsistent and given to disparate interpretation. 

How “Clever”

A 2023 study by real estate data company Clever ranked Hartford, Connecticut as number two out of the top fifteen LGBTQ+-friendly US cities, ranking just behind San Franciso and just ahead of third-ranked Las Vegas.

Clever looked at 14 criteria including the LGBTQ+ population, the number of gay bars and Pride events, state and local laws, equality scores from the Human Rights Campaign, the percentage of residents opposing marriage equality.

While Hartford was only credited with 0.08 gay bars per 100,000 residents, it counters with a high number of PFLAG chapters, and just 11 percent of its residents opposing same-sex marriage.

“From being the second state to legalize same-sex marriage in 2008 to passing the Parentage Act in 2021, Connecticut is a place for everyone—all our fun is LGBTQ+ friendly fun,” the Connecticut Tourism Bureau website (CTVisits.com) boasted.

From Poll to Poll

There have been other polls which place Connecticut in good standing.

“We were ranked second in the US for ‘Best Place to Open a Business/Do Business,’” said Greater Connecticut Gay

Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (ctglc.org) executive director John Pica-Sneeden.

“Then we were ranked sixth in the country in a National Association of Realtors survey assessing the ‘Best Place for LGBTQ People to Buy or Rent,” Pica-Sneeden added.

Statistics can be ignored, bent, or warped to relate almost any message, however, and many studies don’t even solicit opinions of actual LGBTQ+ populations. 

Down to Business

Many within the LGBTQ+ community feel that tourism, business, or even word-of-mouth are better gauges of good news for Connecticut’s diverse population.

“Every few years we see different kinds of surveys,” Connecticut Convention and Sports Bureau (CTMeetings.org) Communications Manager Laura Soll. “We also get them for other ethnic, racial, and political persuasions identifying top places to vacation or hold a meeting. I don’t know if we’re seeing a bump in groups that want to come here related to the (Clever) survey, but we have certainly worked with groups in the LGBTQ community.”

A Nice Place to Visit

Perhaps a truer gauge of support for the gay community is anecdotal evidence: the buzz within the Connecticut community, the attendance at festivals, or the rooms booked at hotels or B&B’s.

Shane Engstrom, Director of Connecticut’s “Out Film Festival,” said 2,000 people attended the festival in June, either live or virtually.

“We had 700 films submitted for evaluation over the past year,” he said, “and we’ve already received 58 movies to consider for next year.”

“Attendance for the 2025 festival was 30 percent higher than last year,” he added. “We’re still not quite up to (pre-pandemic) levels, but even going out to (mainstream) theaters has dropped off since COVID.”

The numbers also reflect a large audience from areas outside of Connecticut.

“Twenty-five percent of our tickets were sold to people from out of state,” Engstrom said. “Those attendees have been mostly from surrounding states like Massachusetts or New York.”

“The Out Film Festival is one of the few large events that people can flock to,” Engstrom added. “Maybe they’re more attracted to it now because of political environment, or maybe because there aren’t a lot of LGBTQ spaces for people to go to.”

Promoting events and places which could draw more from the LGBTQ+ communities to Connecticut, the State Tourism Bureau works to highlight pride events and attractions and is the first-ever state to join the LGBTQ+ Travel Association (IGLTA) at the global partner level.

Split into districts, central Connecticut tourism—including Hartford—is within the domain of the Middletown Events Coordinator, Marketing/PR and Tourism Office.

Central Connecticut tourism administrator Haley Stafford said she couldn’t assess how various polls have gauged LGBTQ+ friendliness, but she can measure better by just looking out of her window.

“We’re actually right in Middletown, and we have a rainbow crosswalk right where we’re located, and there’s also a sign that says how our Chamber hosts Middletown Pride,” Stafford said. “We have visitors to our building saying that they were just driving through and had to stop to see the crosswalk and check out the downtown.

“Last year we had probably four or five people call us to specifically say they were moving here, and they knew they could be safe here.”

Who to Trust?

In 2023, Pew Research published research into the growing acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community beyond the Clever survey.

The Pew survey found social progress and acceptance are growing, but it also noted discrimination targeting transgender adults.

While the study presents another sign of progress, Pica-Sneeden remains skeptical that any studies prior to the 2024 presidential election remain a valid indicator of LGBTQ+ life.

“We’ll reshare [positive survey data] when it comes up,” Stafford explained, “but we usually share more information from people—real life experiences. I feel like there’s more credibility when  the information is coming from real people.”

“It’s funny that we’re looking at this question in 2025,” Pica-Sneeden said. “With all of the turbulence we have in this country related to the issue of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), I’ve been banging my head against the wall trying to connect with corporate partners, and no one takes my call, which is a disgrace.”

“Are people moving into the state?’” Pica-Sneeden posed. “Real estate is so bloody expensive here, and my realtors in the Gay and Lesbian Chamber have good weeks and bad weeks; it’s like a rollercoaster ride.”

Progress, Pica-Sneeden said, is a painstaking process, particularly when the climate is so unpredictable.

“I’m in the process of trying to pass a new law through the state, but nobody answers my phone calls to sit down and talk about it,” he said. “In terms of procurement diversity, the law includes black, brown, women, veterans, and the disabled, but it doesn’t even include the queer community.

“I’ve been talking for over three years to different people, different politicians, and everybody looks at me like I’m some lobbyist,” Pica-Sneeden said, “but my husband and I have a son who’s bi-racial and aged 19. I’m doing it for him and everybody else who’s marginalized. At the [Gay and Lesbian] Chamber of Commerce, we have about 200 members, and we have corporate partners, but we need more because of the stupidity happening in Washington.” 

Telling Tales

If surveys and data can be easily manipulated, and it has become harder to predict national policies, where do we turn for guidance or even a measure of the measure of civility toward the LGBTQ+ community?

Perhaps we might take the polls with a grain of salt and ask a member of the actual LGBTQ+ community. They’ll have plenty of tales to tell.