We Turn Towards Each Other

When I sat down to write this in late December, I asked some folks in the queer community how they were feeling about the impending regime change and what they needed right now. The common threads were ones of feeling heartbroken, betrayed, let down, angry, anxious, and that those in our country, including politicians who once had our backs, had turned away from us, ignoring the serious implications of their actions on the safety of our community.

Trans people specifically have also experienced this betrayal since the inception of the “gay rights” movement where they were sidelined and othered from the very movement for which they were catalysts.

What resounded in my conversations was that this can’t happen now. We need to turn inwards and reconcile whatever forms of bigotry, racism, anti-trans sentiment, classism, and any other isms and schisms we’ve ingested from a culture hell bent on dividing and conquering for the sake of consolidating power among rich white men—and be honest about how that conditioning has worked on us too. That’s the power of propaganda, and that’s what we’ve seen over and over within and without our community.

The heartbreak and betrayal so many of us are feeling is rooted in watching others behave as though our safety is not important and only something to be bargained with. Just look at the erasure of trans characters in media and anti-trans bills passed right after the election with the support of Democrats, a party many of us voted for.

We can’t have this same type of ignorance continue in our own community, since right now we’re all we have! Yes, allies and co-conspirators are with us, but as many of us have found out in the wake of the election, friends, and loved ones aren’t in the same boat as us. They can sympathize and support, and yet when it comes down to it, their rights and safety will not be affected in the same way that ours in the queer community will…and already have been.

So this is a rallying cry! We must take this opportunity to bring our own light to the darkness, as we always have in times where our survival was at stake. We must turn towards each other. We have to make deliberate efforts to understand that our survival as a community relies on all of us being safe and supported. We need to meet each other in our common humanity, with the wisdom of knowing that we all have the same basic needs: to be seen, to feel heard, to feel loved and accepted, to have peace and experience more happiness and less pain. Aren’t these universal human needs? Don’t we suffer when we experience the opposite?

In my conversations, there was also the enduring hope in our community of coming together as an act of resistance against the real threat of persecution. Common threads of hope were about community aid and support, of those with more wealth helping to ensure those with less had what they needed by supporting LGBTQ+ centers and mutual aid funds online. This is where we stand together and don’t back down or hide just because the bigotry towards all of us is being targeted at trans people first.

As my wise friend and elder Karleigh said when I asked her what she thought we needed to do as a community: “We need to get back to intergenerational exchange and relationship and learn about each other. We need to look to the right of us and to the left of us and understand that we’re all in this together. And what our history has told us time and time again: we’ve been all we’ve ever needed.”

We all need each other to feel supported to sustain our mental, physical, and emotional health to endure the road ahead. Strong social connectivity is health promoting, while being or feeling isolated or alone, isn’t. So, what do we do?

Do what’s in your heart. We all have our own unique passions, gifts, abilities, and skills, so use them. Here are some ways you can stay connected, help where you can, and work to maintain a balance in your own life:

• Connect with local LGBTQ+ centers and see what they need and where you can help
• Join or start a group in our community around a hobby
• Take time each day to do something for yourself that brings you joy
• Educate yourself on the different people and experiences in our community
• Speak up when someone uses anti-trans or racist rhetoric
• Think about what you need right now to be supported and ask for help
• Subscribe to my free newsletter on Substack, Wisdom Body Health, to get weekly support and stay connected. Use this QR Code.-

–Meghan Crutchley